Friday, August 24, 2012

The first time we met

During my c section, the doctors had to administer several different shots in order to contract my uterus (which had stretched beyond its limits due to those big babies). This medicine was unexpected and caused me to get really sick, both in the OR and back on the high risk wing of the hospital. My temperature sky rocketed and the doctors were having a hard time keeping my blood pressure and oxygenation on track. It was scary. In the words of Gash, it was traumatic, and he would not leave my side. I, on the other hand, did not care about my blood pressure or breathing, and despite the fact that I would fade in and out of consciousness, I tried to pretend that I felt just fine. I had not been able to hold my babies yet. I was able to see them for a split second in the OR, so I knew they were beautiful but I also knew they had rushed them to the NICU, and although the doctors said the babies looked great; when I saw  my little girl, she was purple and I needed to see them again. I needed to hold them and kiss them and tell them that they were my whole world. However, my stellar acting skills were not convincing and I was told that it would be at least twelve hours before I could officially meet my babies.

It was the longest twelve hours of my life. I will never forget the emptiness I felt without my newborn babies in my arms. I will also never forget the joy I felt when Gash wheeled me through the big metal doors of the NICU and my whole world changed. I have to say that the first time we met our babies will always be the best day of my life.

Mary Seegars and Ashton

Our little angel 

Our sweet boy

In heaven now that I can finally kiss my babies 

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